Handling Death Differently

Loss impacts everyone, and we each manage it a little differently. The children’s show Bluey (season 1, episode 8, “Copycat,” directed by Joe Brumm, aired April 12, 2019) has an episode that age-appropriately conveys how a parent and children of varying ages handle the concept of death when a bird “budgie” dies: “Just as Bluey and Bingo’s ages—6 and 4 in this episode—are indicative of the way they play from a developmental point of view, so too does it inform how they process the death of the budgie. Bluey is just the right age to begin to understand death as permanent and irreversible. Though there’s a final glimmer of hope that the bird will come back from death, which is also for this cusp age, she understands that the budgie is not coming back. Bingo, on the other hand, at 4 years old, is at a different developmental age than her sister. When the family is mourning the bird in a group hug, she seems a bit aloof and maybe even a little confused. Afterwards, she is unfazed by her sister’s sadness and is just happy to be asked to play. When her ‘character’ is supposed to die during their game, she gets up again and starts tweeting: she’s too young to get death as permanent” (Jamie Kenney, “This Bluey Episode about Death Is Truly Beautiful & Surprisingly Uplifting,” Romper, September 30, 2023, https://www.romper.com/entertainment/bluey-episode-about-death). We will all process differently. Allow room for others to move through grief in their own way without a time limit.