In dancing, whoever takes the lead has the responsibility of guiding the dance. A recent article on dancing suggested this about the lead and the follow:
“A good lead plans ahead, directs and guides the dance. A good lead always provides support for the follow. A bad follow will try to take control. A good follow will create within borders” (Laura Riva, “Lead vs. Follow: What Do the Roles Really Mean?,” January 8, 2015).
In the video “Salsa Stats” (yes, that is a real thing), a survey was taken of women on what actions make men bad leads? Among the findings were “inappropriate touching,” “looking around too much,” “asking for lessons in the middle of a dance”—and here’s an interesting one—“not adapting to the follower’s level”. It is amazing how applicable those same observations are to a marriage.
A good follow helps the lead stay on beat. Whoever submits to the lead is not lesser than the other, but instead helps the dance flow smoothly. If both dance partners try to lead, someone’s toes are bound to get stepped on.
There is nothing minor about the role of the wife. She is not second class or beneath the husband. She is in the follow role for a reason. In most dances, it is not the lead people remember but the shining performance of the follow.