Soul Mate

The online dating company eHarmony markets the idea of a soul mate, in commercials like this one: But sometimes the soul mate idea can steer us wrongly into thinking marriage exists solely to make us happy. Then, when we hit bumps in the road, we might be tempted to quit. In contrast, Christian men and women in marriage or about to enter into marriage should always look at it realistically, especially in light of its covenantal aspect. Gary Thomas says that one common misconception Christians have about marriage is “Finding a ‘soul mate’—someone who will complete us. … The problem with looking to another human to complete us is that, spiritually speaking, it’s idolatry. We are to find our fulfillment and purpose in God. … If we expect our spouse to be ‘God’ to us, he or she will fail every day. No person can live up to such expectations.” Only God completes people. People fail other people and putting another person on such a high pedestal will ultimately lead to disappointment and bitterness. Marriage is not the end goal of the Christian life; intimacy with God is (Gary Thomas, quoted in Carol Heffernan, “God’s Design for Marriage,” January 1, 2002,