A good way of discussing holiness is to understand how it is a gift from God to us so that all of our energies can be pointed to function properly. When God gives a gift like sexual desire, it functions best when in line with the way he instructed. He is not looking to extinguish our joy but rather to set it aflame in the right context. This can be seen with the way riverbanks work. What they can do is help channel the energy of water to flow in a particular direction. If there were no banks, the water would just go anywhere and most likely disappear into the ground or cause damage to what is around it. When it comes to holiness, the riverbanks are the instructions God has given us to keep our lives in a proper order that helps rather than hurts. When they do not function in their order, then chaos ensues. One example here would be when the River Thames overflowed in 2015 and began to flood into people’s homes and cause damage: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=e2ZLRpDQqBU